Even Scum Sucking Maggots
Had Guardian Angels
By Ken DeHaas
2/1 H&S 70-71
It was early on in my wannabe Marine
education. About the 3rd week
I’d say. It was M14 take apart and put
back together again instruction time. Me
and my 69 fellow scummies were gathered in a training circle at the bow of the
squad bay. At the epicenter were our
mentors. Senior Drill Instructor GySgt
Dotson and one of his able assistants, SSgt Gray. My best friend was laid out in front of
me. Almost seemed like some perverted
autopsy was about to take place.
Actually this tutoring was in preparation for my blind folded M14
disassemble / reassemble test at Elliott’s Beach a few weeks down the
road. That would be for the “Blue
Streamer” that would embellish Dotson’s Devils Guidon.
Managed to get the connector assembly
removed. Good start. Next up.
The extraction of the “operating rod spring” and operating rod spring
guide”. As I was disconnecting the rod
spring and guide it slipped from my fingers with the spring still
compressed. OH NO!!!!!! Off it went as
if launched from a mutant sling shot.
Vaguely I heard the spring and guide ricochet off the bulkhead and touch
down on the deck some where at the other end of the squad bay.
I was in serious serious trouble my
friends. The emotions that threatened to
overwhelm me defy description. But I’ll
give it my best shot. Stark mind numbing
terror. No way out. No where to run. No where to hide. No time.
My DI’s would soon be upon me in all their righteous wrath. Lord Jesus please help me???
Well apparently I was heard. Had two clues right from the get go. My SDI and his helper had unbelievably not
seen nor heard my unforgivable screw up.
And even more bizarre, neither had my team mates on both sides and
across from me. What’s up with
that? Talk about divine intervention! OK
Ken, calm down. Stifle the panic. What were my viable options? “Sir, Private
DeHaas requests permission to speak with the drill instructor, Sir” Speak Maggot. “Sir, my operating spring and operating rod
spring guide just went rocketing down to the other end of the squad bay. And I don’t know where they are, Sir”. No way.
Cross that option out. Only one
option left to me. Go get that damn AWOL
spring and guide!
No time to form a plan of action. Just went on instinct along with the bare
facts. Racks on the left. Racks on the right. Made the decision to do a low crawl under the
left side racks. And pray that I would
find the spring and guide lying against the back bulkhead and deck. But first I had to wait for both of my DI’s
to be busy venting their frustration on some other unfortunate scum bags. Had no time to be concerned about my fellow
team mates noticing my stealthy departure.
Anyway, I was 99 ¾% sure of their faithfulness. Even though we had yet to achieve the title
of
Didn’t have long to wait. Two of my
buddies were taking some advanced instruction because of their lack of expertise
in the M14. Was time to go. Lord be with me? I rolled onto my belly and
slithered as quickly and as quietly as possible to the racks on the left. Thought my unauthorized mission would be
discovered at any instant but I was almost to the aft bulkhead, so I reckon
someone was on my side. Lo and
Behold. What did I see?? A spring with a
guide inside!! Thank you sweet Jesus!!! I snatched up that piece of M14 anatomy
as if it were Manna from Heaven!! Now for the final leg of my journey.
Yours truly slithered back upstream as
fast as he could go. Stopped under the
rack nearest to my vacated spot in the circle.
A little recon to be on the safe side.
Sure didn’t need to be stumbling into an ambush. Like a snake on speed, I slipped into my
rightful place. Just at that moment
GySgt Dotson did an “about face” dead at me.
I had the errant spring and guide in my fingers. Hold on to your seats or whatever!! It was time to reassemble the “operating rod
spring” and the “operating rod spring guide”.
Condemnation at disassemble.
Salvation at reassemble.
Luck??? I don’t think so.