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The Moving Vietnam War Memorial
Edgar A. Goulet (sp00n)
2nd Bn 1st Marines
Golf Company 66-67
I never knew why I had no desire to go to that Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, DC but I had a reason in my sub-conscience that I was hiding I know this might sound weird but I thought that I would see My name on that Wall and was afraid too confront this fact that I belong there too. I could face the Reaper and Death without Fear as I had prepared too sacrifice my life for what I thought was needed too insure Freedom for all that's how fucken brain washed I was having watched all that War Propaganda Growing up.
Besides, my father was in the Army in the Pacific War, fighting the Japanese and they won that War. Of course it took two Atomic Bombs too do it, which also got the attention of every other Species in Our Solar System especially those races who had been living under ground in the Earth's Core for thousands of years. But that's another story for all those conspiracy theorists.
Back to the wall I was afraid to confront those spirits many who I knew who would remind Me that How come your not with your Brothers What could I say too that, is I don't know, I really have no clue why I'm not with all of you, but in a way I am here with you in spirit everyday because I could never forget everything that we all shared and experience together It's not that I don't want too be here but it's Painful to be reminded that same Pain and Anguish that your families and loved ones felt losing one of You. I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks feeling sad. With Survivor Guilt is what it is as trying too forget about the War isn't going too happen. Well getting on with this story, Sorry about that, I lost control there.
One day about ten years ago the phone Rang, it was My father. My father was always one of My Heroes along with My uncle Midas Ledoux. Midas was a cop of all cops tall and thin but strong who ended up as the Captain of the Detective Unit in Woonsocket,RI. Chuck Connors the Show, the Rifleman reminded me of Midas who was a great Guy, No My Father who for some reason I could never follow in His Shoes as He was very smart and talented playing the Piano acting out the fiddler on the roof while drinking some wine playing all those old songs from His good old days after he grew up during the depression, My Mother is 95 and My father is going on 97 years old and this year they will celebrate their 72nd wedding anniversary I found out why there was no way that I couldn't hold a candle too my father is... because he is an Aries, ever deal with someone under that sign? I'm sure glad that was the reason as now I don't need another excuse now...even though he's the brains. My mother is the boss and she is a great mom who is also gifted playing the guitar and yodeling as back in the day she sang on the radio with her sister before television was invented.
Back to that phone call before I got carried away which Is why I'm not a writer, so I answer the phone and it's my father and he asked me if I ever been too the Vietnam Wall Memorial in Washington DC, I said no. He said well there is another similar Smaller Vietnam wall that can move and travel wherever it wants too go, and it's coming here to Medway, a neighboring town next week, you should go see it while it's here and stop by the house to visit when you come down, okay... thanks.
I was in shock The Wall with all my brothers and sisters were coming to find their lost Soul, I was having a problem functioning as I knew it was time too face my Ghost Comrades of the past as I knew I had too be there. It was as if I was going out on a Patrol, Ambush or Search and Destroy... Anxiety, Stress is what I felt like Big Time. I was Nervous, as I could feel my heart rate increasing while getting harder too breath, I was flustered.
So that Week before the Wall arrived my mind was focused on this fact. I tried too do whatever it was that I had been working on. And, even today I have no clue what I was doing at that period of time. I never had more anxiety after my father's phone call. I told my girl-friend the news about that Moving Wall coming too the area and she was all excited and offered too drive me there. She knew I had a problem with that War and other related problems because of that War so she wasn't sure how I felt about The Wall coming here. She knew My feeling about going too Washington, DC and wasn't sure how I would react seeing this Vietnam War Memorial. It was hard too control my emotions which surprised me. I don't usually panic and I wasn't but, I felt as though I was leaning that way.
She asked me what Day and Time would you like too go as that its opened 24 hours a day. So I didn't want too go at peek Hours because of larger crowds. So I said how about late one night when it would be easier too see those names and besides since we traveled at night quite a lot it was harder for the enemy too figure out where we were going and the number of Men we had.
Okay so what time would do you want too leave she said, how about Nine or Ten o'clock, why so late she asked, well not much traffic for about a hour and a half trip.
I think we got there around eleven o clock, the weather was cool and I was surprised the amount of people who showed up at such a late time. My guess was that other Veterans who were there had a similar plan. As we pull into the parking lot we could see the lights that overshadowed those panels as this was a moment that I never thought, I would see. I was doing fine, much better than I had anticipated in the quiet stillness of the night. It was as if this was a library like a patrol moving slowly through the Bush. It wasn't crowded as we took our time waking just to get the feel of what was here as eerie as it was, i felt very comfortable among my Comrades... as not quite 50 years had gone by. The last time we were together watching each others back in places so remote only helicopters could get there but, many would not even touch their wheels on the ground, half way around the World.
When I got back home after Vietnam, I always felt as if I was a Ghost because even if people could see me they really never knew who I really was. I always felt that I was being followed by a Ghost who boarded the plane with me on my way home. He seemed to follow me every place I went. I started feeling this sensation but, not in any threatening way. It was more like they knew who I was and were all happy that I was there to show my respect as my spirit was welcomed as one of them.
It was amazing too be here an experience this feeling of love and respect. I was in awe seeing all the names of these Heroes who I served with. As I got goose bumps being in the Mists of so many names that I felt I knew while stopping at every panel that was there. I was giving everyone the respect that they all deserved, what a euphoric feeling with tears that wouldn't stop as I remember the screams and suffering from pain that many of these men experienced that still haunts me to this day.
I spent three hours reminiscing with many Veterans who I never met but, somehow I knew we all knew each other. I had a list of many that I knew personally that were in Golf Company whom I served with from October 1966 to November 7th 1967 when I got my orders. I was to "rotate back to the world" as was the saying back in the day. Five Companys that represented Second Battalion First Marines ,2/1 were Echo, Fox, Golf, Hotel, and H&S that were all damn good. While we sat there Reflecting, Meditating, Relaxing I got so many thoughts and Memories that I felt so overwhelmed of being united again. One of these thoughts that seemed too stay in my head was about The Secret War against Veterans, that I knew existed, and these Heroes wanted me too make sure that I would bring attention to this problem. For some reason they knew I was the Guy who could bring attention to this matter, I promised too look into it, as no one is too be Left Behind.
I could have stayed there all night no problem as I belonged there too. But my girl-friend who drove up was getting tired. But see just sat there like a Saint... as she knew my history and could tell that I did belong here too... but never said a word about leaving. She's one of a kind too. I knew It was time too go after two hours of walking around. We sat there another hour before I said you look tired, she said I'm okay we can stay. It was another long ride back home as I had too make sure that she wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel as it was her watch... sharing a fox hole in Nam.
A few days after we got back, the phone rang it was my father. And he said, well did you go to The Wall ? I said yes Ann drove me up there. Well why didn't you stop too visit? Well it was kind of late and you were probably sleeping. What time did you go? We got there around eleven o clock. Why so late? No crowds quiet and we traveled at night quite a lot so I felt like they would recognize me at that time as that was over forty years ago.
He said so how did it go and I said fine it went better than I thought. But I was somewhat disappointed, He said why? I said well we were there for three hours and that Wall never moved an inch? He said what the hell are you talking about that Wall don't move. I said sure it does, that's why it called The Moving Wall, silence for a moment than he said, are your pulling my leg, I said no , how did that Moving Wall get there... if it doesn't move, silence again, are you okay he asked? I said sure I was just teasing you! Oh I'm glad, I wasn't sure if you were lousing it. Hey dad I'll see you soon, okay by.
That's how you deal with an Aries! Ha Ha
Edgar A. Goulet (sp00n)
Ed Goulet with captured enemy rifle
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